Do you have questions like these? We've got answers and can help you think things through.
- How do I know if I'm the father?
- What are my legal responsibilities?
- Should we tell our parents?
- What about abortion? Adoption?
- What does she expect from me?
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Here's some quick advice that may be of benefit to you right now:
- LISTEN: The situation involves more than just you. There are now three lives to think about.
- STAY CALM: She needs your support now more than ever. She may be carrying the baby, but you are BOTH parents, and regardless of your relationship in the future, that baby needs you too.
- TALK ABOUT IT: not only with each other, but prepare to talk with parents and others close to the situation. Hiding the news from people who can genuinely help you only increases the stress.
- GATHER ALL THE FACTS: Get all the information and seek wise counsel so you can make the best decision for both of you.
- EXPRESS YOURSELF HONESTLY: It's normal to have feelings of anger, frustration and fear. But make sure she knows she is not alone.
- DON'T BAIL: The more you run from this, the harder it becomes to think and act clearly.
- DON'T PRESSURE HER: Applying pressure will only push her away, possibly into a regretful situation. You will do well to work together as a team.
- DON'T FORGET: You have a very active role in this situation. Listen to input as well as give your thoughts.
- DON'T ASSUME: If she hasn't said it, then don't assume you know what she is thinking. Ask her good questions about what she wants and expects. Most likely, she's scared and needs your positive support.